In Part 1 of this blog series, a compelling invitation was offered. As a partner who wants to make your love last, be willing, open, and ready to consider your partner's perspective.
If you haven't already, check out the previous post.
For the curious partner this is the 2nd part the in the book Lovingkindness by author William Miller, he says:
"A second component of empathy is a skill, the ability to accurately understand other people and perceive the world through their eyes. You may be able to imagine what someone might be feeling or thinking at a particular moment (as in watching a movie), but the skill of empathy goes beyond imagination by seeking to get it right, to correctly understand at least part of what a person is actually experiencing. "
All of us are born with an intuitive ability to sense what others are feeling or thinking.
In my experience as an Overland Park couples therapist and working with couples in conflict, I often hear one partner state "I am so tired and burnt out trying to be patient and have empathy for my partner.
or "I simply stop caring."
It's never too late to want more from your relationship experience. Move past the mundane, robotic day-to-day routine toward a deeper and more vibrant connection.
It only takes one of you to make the decision that you want more. You want the desire to care even though you don't at this moment.
Now you are on board and ready to change the forward path to make your partnership or marriage.
Imagine: You want to know more about your partner's internal experience. See the possibilities- you're laughing more, and both of you are motivated, willing, and interested.
Be curious and start taking baby steps:
1 - Listening closely, be patient, and just listen to their words, thoughts, and emotions.
2 - Ask "How are you feeling right now" "Help me understand how you're feeling" or "I'm curious about what is going on in your head."
3- Avoid judgmental or defensive comments like "There is no reason for you to feel this way (feel alone, scared, or unloved)."
Practice, practice, practice, Like developing your ab or glute muscles you are training your muscles and your mind to keep going through the discomfort.
Remember, a vital relationship ingredient is empathy it has two components.
One element of empathy is internal and motivational—a desire to understand someone else’s perspective and experience.
People vary widely in their desire to understand their partner's perspective."
A second component of empathy is a skill, the ability to accurately understand other people and perceive the world through their eyes.
Decades of evidence-based scientific and applied outcomes tell us about the practice of accurate empathy; a critically powerful connection, vitality and desire alive in your partnership.
Ready to Enhance Your Relationship with Empathy?
If you’re tired of recurring arguments and want to cultivate a deeper understanding with your partner, consider seeking professional couples therapy guidance. Together, we can explore the vital ingredients of a successful relationship and develop strategies to strengthen your bond. Don’t wait any longer—get in touch with Pathways to Empowerment in Overland Park today at 816-805-0732 or dneal@pathwaystoempowerment.net to schedule a couples therapy session today and take the first step toward healthier communication and a stronger relationship.