Practical, but powerful tip 2 getting connection, intimacy and satisfaction out of your committed relationship.

Practical, but powerful tip 2 getting connection, intimacy and satisfaction out of your committed relationship.

#1 “Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man's growth without destroying his roots.”   —Frank A. Clark

Tip #1  

Be gentle with your criticism. Start with something kind to say about your partner instead of beginning the conversation with a criticism or complaint.

For example, “I noticed how much effort you put into keeping the house organized” or “I appreciate that you went out of your way to mow the lawn over the weekend even when you worked a double shift.”

Start with a “soft opening.” For example, “I need your help with something. Can you take a minute or two to listen?”

“It would help me a great deal if I only had to remind you once to take care of the researching new car insurance rates instead of worrying for weeks at a time that it’s not getting done. Frankly, I feel like I am annoying you when I remind you that you did promise twice to take care of it but never did.” 

“Can you help by doing that research and find three companies and quotes by the coming Wednesday (time and date)?”

Visualize a very soft, gentle rain streaming down and try to adjust your mood accordingly. 

For comments or questions, 

call  816-805-0732 or email dneal@pathwaystoempowerment.net

2

“Animals are such agreeable friends — they ask no questions; they pass no criticisms.”—George Eliot

Tip #2 

Treat your spouse like your dog treats you: pass no criticisms.

Think about how your dog(s) greet you when you get home. 

They are always glad to see you; they are open, present, receptive, and affectionate. Imagine about your dog’s body language and how your pets show you in many ways that they love you unconditionally. Now, imagine your dogs (verbally) talking to you in ways consistent with their body language. 

Then think about how they would speak to you if they were angry or upset by something you’d said or done.

I am envisioning that they would, indeed, pass no criticisms. Treat your partner like your dog treats you.

For comments or questions, 

call  816-805-0732 or email dneal@pathwaystoempowerment.net

3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?”

Tip #3   

Focus on monitoring and changing yourself first

Think back to the early months and years of your marriage or dating relationship. Remember how much physical affection and nonsexual touch there was — kissing, hugging, hand-holding, touching. Think about how great it felt.

It may be almost comical to observe the difference between now and then. This has been a great topic for many comedic performers. 

Over time, the sense of being less emotionally connected to one’s partner is strongly correlated with a drop in natural and spontaneous touch and affection, especially that which is distinct from sexual intimacy. 

Try an experiment for the next five days. Each day, go out of your way to make a small gesture of affection toward your partner. Be intentional, be sincere, be open, and be self-inspired to give this gift of affection. Small gestures create more connection and are a powerful way to get more out of your committed relationship by first investing something into it. 

For comments or questions, 

call  816-805-0732 or email dneal@pathwaystoempowerment.net