Building Your Castle

In your committed relationship or marriage, are you building a castle with your partner or do you just have a plot of land you’re living on?

Picture a beautiful castle: it is colorful and dazzling just like you see in Disney films, with butlers, maids, great food, and no cares in the world.

Now raise your hand if you like the idea of building a beautiful castle, happily now and forever with your mate.

I heard a story the other day that inspired the question, “within your committed relationship, are you building a castle or merely living on a plot of land?”

Living in a castle starts with a plot of land. In a marriage each partner agrees to work together every day to build a foundation brick-by-brick. They are committed over time, both parties working mutually, equally; first one level, then a second level, on up to the top of the castle. 

Does one person do most of the building, the sweating, providing the finances?

Each day one partner wakes up, lays the brick, does the carpentry, and contributes to the castle while the other emotionally, physically or financially does not show up – lacking the commitment, the energy, the sweat required, rain or shine, in sickness and health, to help build the relationship.

Whether you want a metaphorical or literal castle, building it with a successful marriage or partnership requires:

  • mutual daily contribution, partnership, working together
  • internal commitment, desire and willingness to commit in attitude and behavior
  • individual initiative, a desire to grow and change by using proven relationship tools

—Chronic begging, nagging or reminding another of their responsibility is common, but places a strain on the functioning of the relationship.

We can’t live in tomorrow’s community and world with the same tools we have today.

It requires honest, healthy and active communication. The great news is you and your partner can skillfully learn all of the above to start building, or continue rebuilding, your castle.

Call Debra Neal for an appointment or consultation. 816 805 0743

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