Commonly, I see married and unmarried couples repeat highly fatiguing and painful communication patterns, right before my eyes.
Chronic communication problems slowly and progressively worsen’s over the months and years-contaminating emotional and sexual intimacy.
Casual conversations quickly deteriorate into arguing with little resolution; but vital conversations become more reactive and bitter.
Universally, its hard to see ourselves accurately and how we truly react when we are emotional triggered.
These problem emotion reactions, in interpersonal and committed relationships can be automatic and invisible. Many individuals lack self awareness of how one’s emotional regulations (automatic and invisible) can be a fast track to relationship breakdown.
What do you know about You when you get emotionally triggered with your partner when a disagreement or conflict comes up?
Are you laser focused on what you perceive you partner did muchwrongmuch more than what you did wrong?
Do you become even more aggressive , passive or avoidance when you get angry?
If you have answered “yes” to one of the these three questions, and you are tired of feeling angry, discouraged, and frustrated with your and your significant other fight instead of talk to each other constructively, here are a few tips for you.
1-Notice when you are starting to feel physical or emotional tension when interacting your spouse or partner?
2 – Listen to what you are saying to yourself about your partner. “She’s lying again” “Here he goes again” “She always attacks me”>
3-Start monitoring your body and its physical sign of tension; notice when you start to feel negative about your partner and what your thoughts are
4-Practice working on strengthening you skills in regulating you emotions and focus on keep the conversation productive and respectful.
These are 4 fundaments to healthy communication and intimacy in your marriage or committed relationship
Debra Neal LCPC